Build a Sense of Purpose

Children with a sense of purpose take initiative, feel responsible for their actions, seek alternatives to problems, and evaluate their past performance. Here are some suggestions for building a sense of purpose:

Help children develop effective decision-making skills.

• Let them make decisions when appropriate.
• Provide regular opportunities for making choices.
• Give your reasons for your own beliefs and values and invite them to do the same.
• Encourage them to follow through on their own decisions.

In problem situations, decide whose problem it is.

• If it is your problem, you solve it.
• If it is their problem, let them solve it.
• Point out that everyone involved may be contributing to the problem.

Have children focus on solving the problem once it has been defined.

• Ask questions that will help lead to solutions.
• List acceptable solutions and let them choose one.
• Let them offer their own solutions.
• Assist them in evaluating the way the problem was solved.

Teach your children to set realistic goals.

• Model your own goals and dreams.
• Discuss goals and monitor progress.
• Give your children opportunities to practice decision-making.
• Show your children how to weigh options and consider alternatives.

Create a sense of responsibility.

• Assign meaningful duties to each family member.
• Don't make excuses for children if chores are not done.
• Help your children set up a schedule.

Some fun ideas

• Read a "Dear Abby" column and offer your own solutions.
• Celebrate success of a goal.
• Write lists of chores on individual papers and draw from hat.
• Ask your children to draw a picture of themselves as if they have already achieved a goal.